


Angst

by universecharm



Series: Garycato Week [4]
Category: Final Space (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Drinking, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-22 03:04:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14299404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/universecharm/pseuds/universecharm
Summary: day 4 of garycato week.... this hurt to write but hey at least it's not as sad as it could be!!





	Angst

It’s hard sometimes, being friends with Gary. 

 

It's hard to do things that go against your self preservation instinct- and falling in love went with Avocato’s sense of stability the way oil went with water. It felt unsafe. He was leaving his life in Gary's hands, and, with all due respect, they weren't the most capable. 

 

Gary was reckless. He didn't care about himself as much as he should have, completely ready to die for his friends at the drop of a hat. It was terrifying. It was  _ infuriating _ , as a matter of fact! He never thought things through and he never considered the consequences of his actions- he trusted everyone blindly and would throw himself into danger without so much as blinking.

 

And eventually, Avocato knew, he would lose him. Gary would end up in a mess he couldn’t get out of and wind up getting hurt beyond repair because Avocato wouldn’t be able to save him. He’d already  _ literally _ given up an arm for Avocato, what was next? His life?

 

Avocato didn’t believe he was worth loving in the way Gary loved him. No, he couldn’t fathom that someone loved him in a way that was entirely selfless, that just… being a friend to him was enough repayment for all the trouble he caused. All the danger he brought with him like a dark cloud, hovering over him.

 

Gary loved him and Avocato couldn’t let himself love Gary back, because everything he loved got used against him. His love for his son was used against him already, and that left scars to deep to name. He couldn’t get the image of Little Cato at the other end of his gun out of his head no matter how hard he tried to. It kept him awake at night when the silence of the ship started getting to him like a sickness. He hated a lot of things, but he hated feeling like he was weak more than anything.

 

Gary made him feel weak. He couldn’t love Gary; he wouldn’t let Gary get hurt like that. 

 

It was a paradox- Avocato couldn’t love him because he loved him too much. 

 

He laughed bitterly at that thought, clutching onto his glass tighter. The dim kitchen lights flickered and he sighed, taking a swig. It was some cheap alcohol he had snuck onboard and hid from everyone else and it burned going down, making him flatten his ears against his head. He took another, bigger gulp of the stuff to spite the feeling.

 

It took him a while to realize that in his deep thought, someone had sat down across from him and was staring, silently at him as he drank his issues away. A few tired blinks later, Quinn came into focus, her eyes sunken into her head. Sleepless nights on the Galaxy One weren’t as uncommon as Avocato had been led to believe, apparently.

 

“Hey. What’re you drinking?”

 

He swirled the stuff around in his cup and shrugged. “Who knows. Probably poison.”

 

She frowned and tilted her head. “Don’t joke like that, Avocato. Are you drunk?”

 

He shrugged again and leaned back in his chair, groaning at the bright lights above him before covering his eyes. “Maybe a little buzzed. ‘M fine.” 

 

She kept looking at him, cold and analytical, before sighing. She seemed to soften and looked down at the table. “What’s got you so down?”

 

“Mmm.. Everyone on this ship is an idiot. Especially me,” he grumbled, looking up at her. “Not you, you’re reasonable.”

 

Quinn laughed quietly through her nose, looking back at him. “You’re not an idiot. Everyone else, though…”

 

Avocato let out a rough chuckle, resting his head on the cool metal. He took a slow, deep breath, and sighed. “Gary’s going to get himself killed for us one of these days, and I’m worried it’ll be my fault.”

 

There was a thickness in the air that seemed to grow like a cloud, consuming all in its path. Quinn whispered a quiet, “Oh,” and nodding. “Yeah. I know what you mean.”

 

She cautiously reached across the table and rubbed his arm. He buried his face further, like he was trying to hide himself from the world. 

 

“I can’t lose him, Quinn. I can’t lose someone else.”

 

She continued gently touching him and he looked up, tears in his eyes. He reached for his drink and she pushed his hand back, standing up and pulling him into a standing position. 

 

“We just.. We have to protect him as best we can. It’s all we can do for now.”

 

He looked down at her, gripping her shoulders as tears fell down his cheeks like crystals. “I can’t just let him get hurt for me! I- I’m not-” He doubled over, hiccuping into her shoulder. She shushed him and pulled him into an awkward hug, patting his back as lightly as possible. 

 

“There, there… you’re okay… Gary’s okay, too. We’re all okay..”

 

Avocato continued to sob into her shoulder as she walked him back to his room, laying him on the bed and covering him up. “You’re gonna have a hangover in the morning, so I’m gonna leave a bottle of water out, alright?”

 

He nodded weakly and sniffled as she tucked him in. She went to get a bottle of water and when she got back he had fallen asleep, exhausted.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> comments keep me writing!!!!


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